As a divorcee and former housewife, I spent years in what appeared to many to be the “perfect marriage,” although perfect was far from reality. While my husband had many great qualities, our marriage was one of social expectations and smokescreens.
I felt confined, spending my days going through the motions and unable to experience life the way I wanted. I played the role of obedient wife, nurturing mother and smiling hostess; but I wasn’t happy.
Although our divorce wasn’t easy, I finally felt liberated to live life for myself and embrace all the world had to offer. Being single terrified me at first, but I found that I was much happier alone, living the life I wanted, rather than trapped in a relationship where I felt like I couldn’t be myself. There’s such a stigma to being single (aka alone), but for me being single has been a doorway to self-discovery. I’ve done things I could have never done when I was married, living my life constantly in sync with another person. I’ve discovered a whole new world and a whole new me.
It’s not that I’m against entering into a committed relationship again if the right partner comes along; but for now, I feel blessed to be single. After spending years focused on the needs of my husband, I finally feel liberated to live for myself, by my own terms.
Here are 10 reasons why I think it’s fabulous to be single:
1) You choose what you want to do and when. You don’t have to check multiple calendars or work your life around another person’s schedule.
2) You can speak your mind, without having to worry about the impact your opinions might have on your partner.
3) You can make my own friends, regardless of if they will get along with your partner or not.
4) There’s peace and quiet whenever you need it.
5) You have the freedom to join organizations and social groups without feeling like it’s taking time away from your partner.
6) Your money is yours to spend and you don’t have to explain your purchases, like why you splurged on that new pair of shoes.
7) You can eat healthy without being tempted by your partner’s choices (talk about a diet buster!)
8) You can decorate in the style of your choosing without having to consider the design tastes of your partner. Hot pink walls? No problem.
9) You can devote your time and energy to focusing on you- your health, interests, friendships and career.
Barbara McNally is the author of Unbridled, a memoir chronicling her journey from stifled, predictable housewife to independent and joyous living. A mother and philanthropist living in San Diego, California, Barbara is also the founder of Mother, Lover, Fighter, Sage, a foundation inspired by her own journey and dedicated to providing women with opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Visit her website at http://unbridledfreedom.com/.
