The idea of self-care is thrown around a lot. But most of my clients look at me blankly when I mention the concept. Now, before you turn the page thinking you do not have time to take care of yourself, try this: Think of how you might respond if I told you this article was about how to help or take care of someone else in your life. You’d likely get your pen and paper out and get cracking, right? But when the focus is caring for you, there is likely more hesitancy and disinterest. Keep reading to save you time, money and stress when managing your divorce.
Let’s start by defining self-care. One of my favorite statements is “self-care is self-protection.” This means that engaging in behaviors that are kind and loving towards yourself protects you from pain and heart break. Before we dive into the tools, I want to mention a common misconception about self-care. Some of you might think that self-care is simply selfish. After all, we have been taught that focusing on and taking time to enjoy ourselves is lavish. We live in a culture where sacrificing is valued and rest is devalued.
So, don’t be surprised if you find yourself struggling to accept that self-care is worth your time. There is a difference between being selfish and self-care. Being selfish means you think only about your needs to the detri- ment of others’ needs around you. Self-care refers to behaviors you engage in so that you can fill up your own gas tank. By nurturing yourself in this way you can be more generous in the future. The goal here is to take care of yourself so that you can show up as the best version of you to others.